Surrogacy comes with so many emotions, so much build up and so much excitement. When you have this beautiful baby bump, everyone is in awe, then when the baby is born life just kind of snaps back real quick, but your body doesn't. You just grew a human for 9 months, add in the IVF meds and your body has a lot of healing to do. Postpartum as a surrogate is so different from postpartum with your own kids. In a lot of ways, it's much easier, more sleep, more rest and more down time, simply because you have no baby to care for, no feed to keep you up at night. But it can also be a struggle to find balance, after the first 2 weeks you really feel more like you, but internally your body is still going through so much, healing from such a big feat ! Making sure you prioritize rest, nourishing foods, and letting your body heal for the first 4 to 6 weeks postpartum is very important, also seeing a pelvic floor physiotherapist is a great way to help encourage proper healing for your pelvic floor.
Going through this process twice I recognize how easy it is to just want to snap back into real life forgetting that you JUST gave birth and need to be more sympathetic with the healing your body is still doing! It can also play a big role in body image, you look like you just gave birth but you have no baby attached to you to show for that, which also makes you have an even deeper understanding and sympathy for women who never get to bring their babies home. I have had strangers make comments thinking I'm still pregnant, saying things like "you're eating for two now" or "when are you due" these comments can feel very upsetting, and that's very valid to feel. Postpartum as a surrogate can feel weird at times, different from what you have ever experienced as a postpartum woman before. My first postpartum I found the whole experience very odd, kind of a grey area and I picked my battles, sometimes i would just ignore it and walk away and other times I would correct them, saying I actually just gave birth and the baby is back home where they belong, happy and healthy. A gentle reminder to never assume if someone is pregnant or not!
While all of these feelings are valid, it helps to remember that you did in fact just give birth and gave an amazing miracle of a baby to a wonderful family. Your body grew and carried life, often multiple times! Praising your body and giving it nourishing love is what is needed to get through this stage, and it is absolutely okay to pick and choose how you respond to comments from others and how you talk to and think about your own body. Remember to love on yourself and think of the incredible thing your body is healing from.
While this period can feel so bizarre for many reasons, be kind with yourself, be proud of your body and its amazing capability of carrying life. Our bodies are amazing, and we grow these beautiful little babies for others and we deserve to love our bodies for all that they do, even on the harder days. The amount of joy and happiness you will feel as a postpartum surrogate is a feeling many don't get to experience, very different from the feeling of being postpartum with your own children, in many amazing ways. You will feel pride and in awe of what you have just accomplished for another family that were very likely once strangers to you.
Take the time to soak in the goodness of the journey you just went on and the beauty of what is to come from that journey, getting to watch the baby grow, the love it cultivated and the happiness it will bring you for years to come. Also take the time to sit and recover while getting to spend time with your own family and share in the joy together.
In the end, that will override the harder days, making postpartum as a surrogate, something to be treasured.
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